Before we discuss this, remember this quote by Robert Tew “You are always responsible for how you act, no matter how you feel. Remember that.”
I have these two together because these are often confused for good reason and they are coupled together somewhat. Lets define these two and use a great reference I found to distinguish them clearly.
Self-Control: This is the ability to control yourself, in particular your emotions and desires or the expression of them in your behavior, especially in difficult situations. It is restraint exercised over your own impulses, emotions, or desires. It is about being in control of yourself regardless of your emotions, thoughts, or bodily sensations. Self-control will say NO or STOP. Having self-control is learning to remain unaffected by your emotions in order to preserve balance, calm, and the capacity to think rationally during any perilous or emotionally intense encounter. Self-control entails exercising control over your reactions and interactions even when you have no control over the circumstance.
Self-Discipline: This is the ability to control your feelings and overcome your weaknesses; the ability to pursue what you think is right despite temptations to abandon it.
Self-discipline is control over your conscious decisions to do or not do, say or not talk, think or imagine at any time. Self-discipline refers to the mind’s ability to govern the body. Self-discipline is concerned with conscious judgments about conduct. Self-discipline will say go, and keep going.
Self-control requires us to quit doing what we are already doing, sometimes in the middle of it. Self-discipline motivates us to begin and complete new work or endeavors.
When we have a second doughnut in our hands, self-control prevents us from devouring it. Self-control prevents us from grabbing the second donut the following time. Habits are challenged by self-control. It opposes emotional comforts for the sake of enjoyment.
Self-control is in the moment, self-discipline is a way of life.
“By constant self-discipline and self-control you can develop greatness of character.” Grenville Kleise
These two qualities are extremely essential in leadership.
I love this amazing article (copied here) that was written and published by Brent Gleeson on Forbes:
“Why Discipline And Self-Control Are The True Path To Success”
Own Your Mission Plan
Like we used to say in the SEAL Teams, plan your dive and dive your plan. Just like a responsible business leader will have a specific mission plan with structured milestones and KPIs (key performance indicators), so too must those of us wishing to achieve specific goals. That mission plan is critical for maintaining focus on both the long-term vision as well as the path that gets us there. And there’s nothing wrong with shifting the plan or changing our goals – in fact, many times throughout our lives it’s absolutely necessary. So how do we win more through discipline and self-control?
Clearly Defining Your Goals
When we don’t make our goals concise, time-bound, measurable and realistic (with a strategic plan to support each goal) it becomes much easier to allow distraction to derail progress. New shiny objects appear and we start chasing things unrelated to our goals and values.
Visualize Winning
Literally. Elite athletes and coaches do this. Special operators do it. Successful entrepreneurs do it. Great philanthropists. Oscar-winning actors. You name it. When we visualize the winning outcome and how we will arrive at that outcome, our brains begin working backwards to define the path forward. If your goal is to run a marathon, visualize yourself running the race, feeling the pain, the emotion and the joy of the finish line. Picture each training day leading up to the race. What will you do? How will you feel? What temptations will you avoid?
List Obstacles
The best way to avoid temptations and distractions are to list them. Give them a name. Rank them based on your tendencies towards weakness in these areas. What threats and blockages stand in your way? What has caused you to fail in the past? If you have a tendency to not finish projects you start, ask yourself the five WHYs. Get to the root cause the label it.
Remove the Roadblocks
Gradually begin managing your time-wasting tendencies and removing obstacles. If you’re stuck in a dead-end job or relationship. Stop being so weak and get out. If you want to be a better leader for your team at work, make time to engage in personal and professional development. And yes, that means at the expense of other enjoyable but pointless activities.
Course Correct as Needed
Have a plan for rapid course correction. Have an accountability partner. Request transparent feedback from others when you falter. Get angry with yourself when weakness sets in! Then get back on track.
Finding success and magical opportunities beyond our comfort zone requires focus and follow-through. It requires action-oriented thinking and resilience. As we continue to develop our mental calluses we will be more equipped to bounce back. Discipline and self-control are essential for paving our road to success. They equip us with the battle gear for resisting temptation and winning at everything we do.